Inspired Men Talk: Breaking the Stigma of Men's Mental Health

Don't lose hope
[00:00:00]
Gary Johannes: Good morning everyone and welcome to another episode of Inspired Men Talk. And remember this is a podcast for inspired men really, men who just talk and we generally have a guest and today we've got a fantastic guest Dom, Dom Bristow, he's Got a really engaging story. He's going to talk to us about what he's done and hopefully inspire men to talk.
We've got Ben and Peter who [00:01:00] are normal people who come on the podcast with me. Christopher's not here today. So you, you only get. More of me really. So, you know, I'll fill the void. No difference as you know, nothing new So Dom's been we got in contact with Dom from a friend of the Show called Nicole Woodcock.
She's up in Bourne in Lincolnshire And I think that's where Dom is. So Dom, do you want to introduce yourself and tell us all about you?
Dominic Brister: Yeah. Yeah. Firstly, I love the fact that Peter and Ben are classed as the normal people. Oh, only
Gary Johannes: normal to the show. Nothing normal about any of us.
Dominic Brister: That's exactly.
No. So, I mean, I've I was a teacher for 15 years. My wife was a little bit frustrated with the lack of funding for mental health for children. And Googled how to start a charity got a charity number in 2018. And while I was teaching, I was helping a physically build a [00:02:00] cafe and some counseling rooms then a shop.
And then two years later decided that I'd leave teaching and do it full time. My backgrounds in coaching, my degree is coaching coaches. So I, I guess I fell into teaching because someone needed help for two weeks back in 2005. And 15 years later, I'd kind of. I forged my own path. I wasn't, when people ask, what did I teach?
I taught children. I didn't have a specialist subject. I mean, PE was my subject but by the time I finished, I taught every subject apart. I was timetable to teach every subject apart from GCSE maths and English. So the school, the school and the trust that came on board used me to work with children who were struggling or with groups that lessons weren't working.
So. I set up something basically back to basics or beyond the classroom wrote a couple of papers on students over subjects and it's actually who and how you [00:03:00] teach them, not what you teach them. And ultimately that's, that's blended really nicely into what I do here, which is, which is ultimately we've, we've created a community garden and shed With over, well, we're now about 250 people a week come through the gate just for support mental, mental health support, social support reducing social isolation.
I've got a group in there at the moment of young guys with autism, Asperger's, Tourette's. I've got three or four volunteers in there who are supporting them. So we've got, we've got just over 40 volunteers now. So from where we started, where we started three years ago yeah, it's massive. So I say I was, my aim was to be sat in an office to give you guys full focus, if that makes sense.
But unfortunately one of the volunteers was struggling this morning. So I'll just quickly. Turn you around.
Overtalk: That's
Dominic Brister: where we are.
They're all in the shed. And I've, I've, I've kind of taken, I've kind of taken their therapy dog out. So Mills our therapy dog. But yeah, it's, [00:04:00] it's, it's ever expanding and you know, without, without letting any cats out of any bags, we've, we've got another, we've got another shed space to give a bit more quiet and reflective time while people are here in bad weather.
So yeah, it's You know, I, I don't know how I got here and it was never a plan to get here. It was literally February, 2020 was kind of a need someone who can help. And I just took out, took out the time and said, right, I'll just do it.
Gary Johannes: I think, I think February 2020 was a catalyst for many, many things, good and bad.
Dominic Brister: I know, well, I left probably six, eight weeks before it was sort of the half term, so I left just before COVID really struck. Yeah, yeah. So, I don't know if I'd still be, you know, if I'd still be in teaching. I'd kind of made the decision but certainly, you know, I've, I've looked at people's posts this morning, the number of my mates who, who have been teachers and they're all saying this is [00:05:00] their first September.
They're not in anywhere. They're all doing different things because actually the, the way that people have to teach these days, it's not, it's not what a lot of, I'm not going to sign
Gary Johannes: up for.
Dominic Brister: No, I'm, I'm, I'm sounding like old school at 45, you know, it's, you don't sign up to be online or working remotely or all these things.
And it's all about data. You know, when you, when you don't know the names of the people you're working with and how to make them tick, it loses it. And, and we used to pride ourselves at the school on, on knowing every child, all their families, you know, if one was walking down the corridor feeling not great, you know, what comment you could throw out them as a bit of a joke to, to get them going.
And by the end of it, I couldn't, you know, you didn't know the children. You could tell the data and you could, you could work out, you know, You know, what their target grades were and things like that, but it was really hard. And I know it's changing, and I know it's gone, it's going back a little bit now, but yeah, it's, it's certainly not, not what it was.
Gary Johannes: Could I just ask a couple of clarification [00:06:00] questions really? First of all, what's, you've talked amazingly about this charity work you're doing now, and you and your wife, what's the charity called?
Dominic Brister: It's called Don't Lose Hope.
Gary Johannes: Okay, so that's the first thing.
Dominic Brister: Yeah, so ultimately the, the initial premise of it was a community cafe, and the profits from the community cafe go through to support means tested counselling.
So there's, there's, there's four levels of counselling cost, so it's either free, If you're in receipt of benefits 10, 20 or 30 depending on your income. So no one pays more than 30. The councillors get paid 20 an hour, whether they're seeing someone who's 30 or free. So they get exactly the same service.
So obviously the 30 cost covers the shortfall of the 10 cost. And the free ones are generated by raising funds. And that's where, that's where the cafe, the shop, this place, we make things, fix things, amend things for donations. [00:07:00] And we're walking up
Gary Johannes: mountains from what I've heard. Yeah, we've
Dominic Brister: done a few, done a few mountains.
We did, we had a, we had a hundred people up Snowdon a couple of months ago. I walked from Warrington to Bourne 156 miles in 54 hours. That was 23, 000 pounds. I think Snowden was 30, 000 pounds. We raised I think in total, we've raised just under a hundred thousand from the walks that we've done.
And my dad who does, I mean, bless me 71 now he does the equivalent on a bike. So when we did Snowden, he walked up and down with us and then cycle back, you know,
Gary Johannes: for miles.
Dominic Brister: From Snowdon, yeah.
Gary Johannes: We live in East Anglia, so Durham is probably 20 miles north of where I am. That's a hell of a ride.
Dominic Brister: It's, yeah, it was Yeah, it was 20, I think he managed it in 23 and a half hours.
He did he did a ride two years ago, 360 kilometres in 24 hours. [00:08:00] I got a
Gary Johannes: taxi to my car sometimes. I'll
Dominic Brister: tell you to him. They've got trains, you know, they've got buses. I'll come and pick you up. But you know, for, for his mental health, he uses that as his, as his focus, you know, he does a lot of training.
So he knows that he's prepared. And again, a lot of the guys that we come in here, they, they have these one off events, but they use the training time. Or even the guys using the tools that we've got, you know, they use the light because when they're on the light, they're not thinking about other things.
Gary Johannes: So, the other clarification question I've got, you said you're a coach, and you coach coaches, and then you said you were a P. E. teacher, so, what type of coaching are we talking, business coaching, or physical
Dominic Brister: coaching? This is the difference, I think, so my degree, I did my training in New Zealand. And when I did my degree, a bachelor of sports coaching, they, they don't just teach how to coach rugby, how to coach, they [00:09:00] don't teach the skills as in the, the closed skills of the game.
It's how to work with people, get the best out of people. And then ultimately, you know, it's, it's similar to kind of, you know, not being rude to Sir Clive Woodward, he's possibly the greatest technical rugby coach. But he is great at getting the best out of other coaches to come in and get, you know, they'll have, I think, well, New Zealand, they've got a guy that I did some time with Gilbert Anoka, who is the psychologist, really good guy, really great.
He's still working with them. Now, they were the first rugby team to have a sports psychologist back in the late twenties. And Gil, you know, he likes rugby. He's played rugby. But it's not, he's not in there to work on how to pass and catch, you know, by the time you get to that stage, those basic things, yeah, they need overseeing, but you're good coaches are looking at, you know, team cohesion and, and looking at, you know, as in with business, you're looking at a SWOT [00:10:00] analysis and saying, right, what are we going to do on a day to day basis?
So ultimately, my role in here is to know everyone that comes in know. Why they're in and what we can do to hopefully support them. And if that means, you know, this morning I was out at about, I was out about seven, picking up another pillar drill. We've got a metalworking vice. Cause I've got someone who really, they worked in formula one for years.
They can't do it anymore, but they'd like to show other people. Now we didn't have much metalworking stuff and they're moving into an almshouse and they said, look, well, if you come and pick this up, you can have it and then I'll come down and show people how to use it. So ultimately he's moving into a place on his own.
He now knows that he can come down here once or twice a week and show other people how to do it. And it's, we've got a lot of people who who's the hands don't work, but their brain does. And it's almost, it's almost like society has said, well, You know, you can't do that anymore, so you've got to go and [00:11:00] sit in a coffee shop or sit in, you know, go and sit and do some adult drawing or whatever.
So
Gary Johannes: that's great. That's all about the charity and I think, I think it's amazing. But with what I can know a little bit more about your journey.
Overtalk: Okay.
Gary Johannes: So I'm going to hand over to the other two because they'll moan if I take up all the mic time they always do. They, you know, they pickle me all the time.
They call it banter.
Overtalk: Yeah.
Gary Johannes: Guys, have you got any questions for Dom?
Peter Ely: Yeah. So I love the whole coach of coaching. It just reminds me of Ted Lasso. I don't know if you've seen that at all, but I don't know, I don't know if that's what it's like, but that's what it sort of sprung to mind, which I kind of loved.
I had a look on the website and your, your job title is Director of Motivation, which I think is fantastic. And then, and then you obviously you put the initials of it. So it says Dom and I, I forgot your name and I thought, Oh my God, that's a fetish thing, but that says more about me. Right. So so what, what is it?
What's, what does the Director [00:12:00] of Motivation do? What's that part of it for you that, that kind of makes you do your thing?
Dominic Brister: I think, I think I can, I can sum that up. I mean, our logo is very simple. I don't know if you can, I don't know if you can see it on there very well.
Peter Ely: Yeah.
Dominic Brister: It's Don't Lose Hope, and there's a, there's a sad caterpillar and a happy butterfly.
And it was, it was best kind of worded by this young lad who, young lad Ralph, who came and sat in here, he was about five or six, and he was looking at our logo and he said, I think I get it. People walk in feeling like a sad caterpillar and leave feeling like a happy butterfly. And ultimately. If a, if a five or six year old can get that from a logo, that kind of says it all, you know, I, my aim in here is we've got so many different areas of the garden or so many different things in the shed, you know, we've got most so we're linked with Men's Shed UK and most sheds are open one or two hours, once or twice a week.
We're open Monday to Friday, nine till four, and then 10 till three on a Saturday, you know, we're the [00:13:00] most open shed space in the country for what we do. And ultimately. I've got enough, either myself or the volunteers, we've got enough bits so that someone can come in and they'll go, Oh, it sounds really silly, but I'm going to throw this at you if I say the word Swarfega.
Overtalk: Yeah,
Dominic Brister: I know what that means.
Gary Johannes: Wash your hands mate, you'll
Dominic Brister: have to wash them
Gary Johannes: again afterwards.
Dominic Brister: Swarfega's got that green, gunky, smelly, whatever, it's, it's getting the senses going. So we contacted Swarfega. When we started and they sent us some really nice new, no smelling Swarovska, so we sent it back. You know, it still does the same job, but it doesn't have that, most people walk and go, that's my granddad's shed.
You know, it's, it's trying to get people to engage with the senses rather than sitting and just having a conversation. You know, the, the grasses, the ferns, the, all the stuff they can eat and [00:14:00] taste in the garden, they can brush past it. You know, it's, it's trying to, it's trying to be a bit more men. Yeah, I'm guessing, I'm guessing you guys get this quite a lot.
Men don't talk, but they do actually a bit more than a lot of people think, but they don't feel comfortable talking about the fact that they've talked. So to sit in, you know, what, what I call a classic NHS treatment room. It's not, it's not a thing for a bloke. So my shed is never tidy. It's always organized, but never tidy.
There's always something out so that if someone comes in for a chat, I can be pottering or they can pick up some sandpaper and they can help me do something. Someone who feels useful will suddenly start talking. We get a lot of guys who come in who will bring a token and say, this needs fixing. Now, most of the stuff is beyond fixing, but it's, they, they don't want to have that conversation.
So I'd say my role in terms of motivation is getting people through the gate. And then hopefully getting them to come back. It's It's what, what I can [00:15:00] do to support the volunteers, you know, I say like now I'm just seeing this, there's four more young lads just walked in what I can do to get the volunteers as passionate about it so that when two years ago I couldn't have left this site because I was here.
If someone needed me, I'd close the door and go. Now I've got enough volunteers that I can rely on who I know, feel the same way. And ultimately that's, that's, that's the coaching of the coaches. You know, these guys have come to give their time because they've struggled at some point. All of my volunteers, male or female, have been in struggling.
And then they're trying to, through whatever we've done, whether that's motivation or not, has given them the empowerment to want to give a little bit back.
Gary Johannes: So, so this, everything you do, and the way you've just responded again to Peter's question, which is again a fantastic response, sounds like you've I'm really well trained.
You're naturally good at [00:16:00] communicating and you support people really well because you can. Not that you, you've never, you know, you've not been a, an elite athlete, but you can coach people to be at elite athletes because you know how to do that. But what's brought you to want To sit there, not being able to leave there at times, cover people when the poor leave.
Why do you do that? It's, it's what drives you, is more than what you do do. What drive you to do it?
Dominic Brister: Yeah, it's a great question. I would say that I'm probably lower than, on some days, I'm lower than most people in here. But actually, the, the act of giving to others is a massive, massive boost. You know, it sounds really silly.
I was, you talk about, Elite athletes. I represented England at water polo as a, as a youngster.
Gary Johannes: Is that a sport?
Dominic Brister: Yeah, lots of swimming. It's, I'll tell you what, if you, if you I can't swim,
Gary Johannes: so I don't know if it's a sport or not. [00:17:00]
Dominic Brister: If you Google water polo, it's one of the, it's, it's basically like rugby and swimming combined.
Gary Johannes: I've seen it. It's vicious, what I've seen.
Dominic Brister: You just pull down
Gary Johannes: each other.
Dominic Brister: Yeah, I was a goalkeeper, so I kind of got the ball thrown at me a few broken noses and fingers. But I used to swim, you know, I was never fitter physically than when I was playing water polo. You know, I traveled to New Zealand to play rugby, played some great games over there.
The last few years since I've stopped playing, physically, you know, I'm still out, I'm still walking, I'm still doing stuff. But I haven't got that, that competitive side, that stuff that I used to really love. isn't, isn't quite there. So I've started swimming again and I now know when I don't swim. So if I'm having a bad morning, I'll get a book in every morning because we now got a book after COVID, you can't just go for a swim like you used to.
I'm there from six till seven every morning and I know that I feel, and I'm better in my relationships and I'm better with people, if I've had my little [00:18:00] almost talk to the bottom of the pool. It sounds really silly, but I've, I've now got underwater headphones, I can swim for, you know, 45, 50 minutes, listen to my music, talk to the bottom of the pool, no one talks to you when you're in there, you can just switch off, but if you do it without your music, your brain starts going through all the stuff, you, you, suddenly you're, you're stuck in your own head.
So
it's almost, as I, as I sent you, and I'm sure we'll talk about it in a minute, I sent you guys an email. I've been through some, some pretty horrendous stuff in my life. And it's, it's almost, I almost now see it as, as a blessing because when people come in going through horrendous stuff, yes, I can, I can, I can read about it and I've learned about it, blah, blah, blah.
But actually I've been there and, and the ability to, the ability to empathize, not, you know, not, not give my story to them. That's not, what happens at all to actually say, do you know what, I don't know exactly what you're going through, but I know similar, you know, if my, my [00:19:00] only issue is, is drinking drugs.
You know, if, if anyone comes in here talking about drinking drugs, I've got to go on theory, you know, I've, I've, I've spoken to a lot of people, I've met a lot of people, I've dealt with a lot of people, you know, I deal with, there's, there's two guys who come in here who are highly psychotic, you know, we, we deal with that on an almost weekly basis, but I've got no learnt knowledge myself.
I've got no lived knowledge, sorry. So yeah, I've yeah, I've been, I've been through some stuff and I didn't have anyone to talk to. As much as people said, Oh, you should have taught. Yeah, I know I should have done that's going back 20 odd, 30 odd years. You know, you, you, it wasn't the done thing as it were.
And it's almost just trying to change that paradigm and get people to get people to break free and go, do you know what? Actually, if I talk about it now, it's not going to clog me up for the next 10, 20, 30. So, you know, we've got a guy who's 86 who came in and told me something that happened when he was 15 and he never told anyone.
And the only reason he [00:20:00] told me was because his wife had died and he just wanted to let go. He couldn't even tell his wife they'd been married for 50 odd years. So it's, it's, it's the ability to let people leave stuff here and get out of the gate feeling a little bit lighter.
Benn Baker Pollard: If you look at the age range that you have come into your venue, you're covering everything from four, the age of four upwards in what you do. Are you seeing any trends or patterns in what the younger generation are bringing in compared to the adults? Is there any crossover in that or what would you say are the main sort of things people come with?
Dominic Brister: So, so we've got, we've got three venues, the, the venue. The guys that see the youngsters on a, on a counseling basis, that's slightly different to what I do in here., I think it's 64 percent of our clients are up to, up to 18.
Overtalk: Okay. Well,
Dominic Brister: In returns, in terms of what they're bringing to the market.
I'm not 100 percent [00:21:00] sure what they are, because obviously that's all confidential chats. But in terms of the guys that come into here, we, we're pretty much, we've got, we've got the nurseries that we, we support, and they come in, and they're just here to use the space. They're not here for mental health support, but actually it makes them feel better, because they get to I said, there's, there's literally three just coming now who are under six.
They, they come and use the space, you know, they're not here to mental health support, but actually their parents realized that actually being with the outdoors is quite a good thing. A lot of the guys that I would say my majority of users are 40 plus change of job, change of lifestyle, change of relationship status retirement.
And just feeling lost and just sitting and not wanting to be stuck at home in their own four walls. And, you know, the big thing is reducing that social isolation. Yeah, like it is, it's, it's massive. And, and, You know, when we started this place, we were begging, borrowing, and stealing [00:22:00] whatever we could.
I don't know what you guys know in terms of tools, but everything we had was Parkside. It was all Lidl's finest and Aldi's finest. And, and it was all leftover garbage from what everyone was getting away, get thrown away. We've now got Stanley Black Decker on board, we've got DeWalt on board, we've got Axminster on board.
And they're, they're throwing us things, you know, their, their reps come down and almost empty their vans. With what I call gizzets, you know, all the little bits that they just want to get away. You know, they're there to give to the people as, as
Overtalk: teasers, but
Dominic Brister: they just, they just throw them all our way. And, you know, we get, we get trade price plus discount on any tools, which means that I can then pass that on to my volunteers who are, you know, if they've got a lathe at home and they do prep work for us, they can get the same discount.
So, you know, it is, it's a community. We ask for something now. You know, we had a. A hose pipe went after four years. Now that hose pipe was something that we'd been donated from someone that threw it away. I put a shout out on Facebook and the next day I had [00:23:00] six hose pipes before 10 o'clock. It's it's people are seeing that, that it's benefiting.
You know, it's, we've, we've got a, we've got to just something simple. Like we turned an old Ikea cabinet into a book exchange and people just come and use it because they know there's someone here. And it's that, it's that continuity and that community that. People know that if they're not feeling great, someone's going to be there.
So all of my mental, all of my volunteers are mental health first aid trained. So, their signposting and their knowledge is fantastic.
Gary Johannes: Sorry Ben, you go Ben.
Benn Baker Pollard: I was going to say, if you look at, you know, you've talked, we haven't gone into details of your personal journey quite yet, but, if you look at the things you've experienced and the support that you had access to, when you went through some of those challenges, and you compare that to today's support, is it better, is it worse?
Dominic Brister: Total difference, total difference. I, I I had a marriage breakup. Unfortunately, I was, I was quite young and [00:24:00] I didn't take it well cause I've got a, I've got a young, a young son and yeah, I found myself going to the local mental health center. I just a walk in local mental health center up in Grantham.
Really, really not in a good way. And I was basically shooed away. You know, it was kind of a, you know, I'm, I'm telling you that I'm feeling really bad here and I was turned away. Now, I know that that'll still happen. There'll still be places like that. But I think, you know, I'm very conscious, you know, if it gets to half three quarter four and someone walks in feeling really bad, I'll still be here till six o'clock.
You know, I don't want anyone to have to go through, you know, here's the, here's the job, you know, and, and I think that's, that's the difference with a lot of the people that we've got working with us, they're in it for the right reasons, as opposed to in it for the job,
Overtalk: if that
Dominic Brister: makes sense. I know mum was a, mum was a nurse.
She's just retired. If she'd finished [00:25:00] the critical care unit at nine o'clock and people still needed support, she'd still be there till 10, 11, 12 o'clock at night. You know, whereas the, the modern nursing fraternity will start packing down half an hour before and be gone bang on the time. And it's, it's, you know, as, as, as you guys said on your introduction, it's being, I was, I was an athlete focused coach.
You know, I'm a person, a person sent a lady called Lynn Kidman, who's written countless books on coaching. You know, Lynn was my mentor and good friend. Now she was my mentor in my third, second and third year of uni. If the person you're working with doesn't feel that you're linked with them, then they won't engage.
And ultimately we try and engage with every person that comes through here. So yeah, the services are, I think a lot more varied and a lot more almost hopefully getting a bit more accepted. You know, not being seen as, you know, well, if it's not the NHS, it's not right. Actually, there's, there's lots of other ways.
You [00:26:00] know, that you can get support.
Peter Ely: Yeah, we've seen that as well, I think, with some of the guests that we've had on in the, you know, there's a lot more charities around there, and I think we're of a very similar age group, Dom, you and I, and you're right, talking wasn't really the done thing for a long, long time for men, and I think that's something that we've kind of seen through our conversations, that it is changing, which is really nice.
Gary Johannes: It's interesting because you, you, you use the phrase, which unfortunately is you, in my opinion, and fortunately used quite a lot, is that men don't talk, but there's, there's four of us sitting here talking, and you, when you was in a really bad spot as a young man, still went for help. Yes, you were shooed away, but I, I don't believe that men don't talk.
I do believe that men don't talk when you don't give them the right opportunities in the right way and set the right surroundings for them, [00:27:00] which you clearly do. But I think the fact that people are continually saying that men don't talk. Makes it difficult for men to talk because that straight away goes, well, if I talk, I'm going to show that I'm not manly.
Dominic Brister: No, a hundred percent. We've got, so I'm looking straight through the door at the moment. There's a, there's a whiteboard in there and there was a young lad, Reece. He was 16, 17. And this is just a whiteboard that people can graffiti on what they want, you know, and we tend to scrub it off every couple of weeks.
But his has stayed for the last three years. He just put, I feel safe in here and that, that's, that's it. You know, if, if someone feels safe talking, then, you know, they will go, they will, you know, I, I've got thousands of anecdotes of guys who come in here and don't stop talking. So, you know, it does needs to, all of my walks aren't to raise funds.
It's to raise awareness [00:28:00] for blokes. saying it's okay to talk and every, you know, every single village I walked through on the way back from Warrington, no matter what time of day or night it was, someone came and walked with me and told me their story. You know, probably 40 or 50 different, even when I, I stopped at Ikea in Nottingham to get a cheeky breakfast and I was stood in the queue with a flag say, and it's got mental health awareness on it and some bloke just came and told me about his, his daughter who'd just taken her own life at university.
You know, it's when you, the risk is
Gary Johannes: men do talk.
Dominic Brister: Yeah, they do massively. 100%. I think the, I think the scare or the fear is, people are worried that if they start to talk, they won't stop. But actually, once you start to talk, I, I call it, I call it the 10 percent in here. They all know that little 10 percent that they really need to talk about, but they'll talk about 90 percent of the stuff and then say they feel okay.
[00:29:00] And actually, if I say to them, do you know what, let's get that 10 percent out first, and then we can talk about the waffle. But you've got to build up that 20 or 30 percent for them to feel safe enough to get rid of the bit that. Is the actual crux of the issue.
Gary Johannes: So Peter's question about your title being the director of motivation.
That's really what you're doing is creating that space. And we, from a clinical point of view, it's that rapport you're building. And we know that that clinical alliance, a therapeutic alliance comes before everything else. Because if you haven't got a good, you know, therapeutic alliance with whoever you're talking to, they're not going to talk.
Coming back to that safe feeling, Meeley.
Dominic Brister: Yeah, it's feeling safe. We, we're often asked, so we, we provide counselling in the counselling rooms.
Overtalk: Yeah.
Dominic Brister: So people say, well, do you provide therapy here? Well, my question is, If you leave feeling better than you did when you arrived, is that therapy? Well, actually, yes, it is, you know, is [00:30:00] going out into the garden at home and doing your gardening, you know, women talk about retail therapy.
Well, you're not, you're not with a therapist. You're just doing something that makes you feel better for whatever reason. Well, it's a generation
Gary Johannes: of dopamine, isn't it? So,
Dominic Brister: so you say, you know what, you say that. So, We really struggled. We had a, we had a new company come in for the website and they said, look, you really need a title.
Now, I didn't have a title. I was, I was general dog's body, then officer dog's body, do as you're told. And I thought, well, let's, let's do something with Dom. So I did director of motivation. And actually, so Millie is officially our director of greetings or Dom. But we, we did, we did, we did throw it out there and one of our Polish no, Lithuanian, sorry, volunteers said, well, she should be the dopamine overload giver, you know, but then you've got to explain to someone, then you've got to explain to them what dopamine is.
So it's easy to just call it. And
Gary Johannes: actually it's oxytocin what you get from the dog. So I won't correct the people.
Dominic Brister: [00:31:00] She's got a little thing on there. I don't know if it's backwards or what, but yeah, so it is, it's a, it's, it's, and, and, and the difference, unfortunately, we've got, we've got million here cause she's, she's our dog.
We had two dogs and the older one died. So she was sat at home feeling rubbish. Now she sits in
Overtalk: here
Dominic Brister: and helps other people talk. You know, people, people will talk, you know, at the school I was at, we had a therapy dog. The dog is trained to support, you know, you can't formally be a therapy dog unless you're working.
with a therapist.
Gary Johannes: We did a whole podcast on the value of animals, whether they're cats, dogs, horses. And it's just amazing, isn't it? We're
Dominic Brister: working with a local petting farm, tiny steps. And we take people down there once a month, guys that volunteers as well as clients, as well as, you know, users. And they've got, you know, alpacas, goats, wallabies, whatever.
They've got, they've got loads of different petting animals. And just, it is, it's, it's making [00:32:00] feel, making people feel engaged and making them feel valued. And then they will talk. But yeah, back, back to the question, men certainly do talk.
Gary Johannes: So, really want to get into your story, because you sent us a brief email, a bit of a synopsis, and you sold us all these amazing things, like you played water polo for England, you've been at Wembley performing, you've done some amazing stuff, been in movies, and then you said, but at the same time, you then sent us the opposite, where you You know, grief and depression and suicide isolation and oh, you know, so many, so it's almost like bipolar in one minute, you're doing all these amazing things.
And then you're telling us all these other things, but you're very good at talking about the charity, which is amazing and we really want to support you massively. Your why is something you don't really, you [00:33:00] very quickly divert away from your why. I want to get more into your why and the other two are going to pick out and if they ask you a question about the charity, I'll go down and smack them about, but they're going to ask you questions about your why, because we really want to know what make Dom tick.
Dominic Brister: Yep. Go for it.
Gary Johannes: Because other people will need to know how to go from being shooed away from the mental health services, because it's still happening unfortunately, because they're so overwhelmed. Not because they don't understand. Now they do understand, but they're now overwhelmed.
Dominic Brister: I think it's about 18 months at the moment to get, to get spoken to on the NHS.
Gary Johannes: Yeah. In, round our way, yeah. Ben, Peter, ask him a question that's going to make him think about his why. So,
Peter Ely: I read a story about Bruce Springsteen, who would come off of stage after performing, and then he'd go back to his hotel room and he's, he's phoned his manager up and say things like, no one loves me, everybody hates me, what's going on?
And obviously it's going, going [00:34:00] from that elation of, of having 80,000 people adoring him to kind of them being on his own. So tell us a little bit about what happened at Wembley and as being as a singer and kind of is, does that resonate with you? Does that story of Bruce Springsteen resonate?
Dominic Brister: 100%.
100%. I did, I, when I was in New Zealand, basically I went there to play rugby. A band came in one night. To the rugby thing and they said, does anyone want to get up and sing? And I'd done A level music, so I got up and sang a song. And then suddenly Aaron and the band said, look, do you want to do another one?
And then suddenly ended up working at a karaoke bar as a singer. Then I didn't have a night off in four years from gigging. It was, it was ridiculous. I never wanted to get into it. But yeah, the, the elation. So I spent, I spent three years as Australasia's number one Robbie Williams tribute act. Even, even so much as doing a Robbie night when Robbie came to Christchurch in 2001 and his management team come in and watching and then [00:35:00] getting me tickets to go backstage.
You know, it was living the dream, like literally absolute performance dream. But following Robbie's story is very similar to Bruce's. You know, every night before I gig, I still gig a few times a month. I still do weddings. I still do festivals. You know, I've done all the local festivals this year. I hate it.
I absolutely hate the fear of getting up. I know full well that they wouldn't book me unless they wanted me there. And I know that, you know, my son has just started. He did his first gig with me last week. Phenomenal on the guitar at 15, 16. And I don't want him to understand the fear that I face because he hasn't got it.
He's just, he, he loves his guitar plays really well. And he hasn't got that fear yet because he's young. You know, the I will always stand and sing in the first few songs because as a teacher, you get used to lip reading and hearing really well. [00:36:00] I tend to think that every single table thinks I'm rubbish or they're telling stories about the past and all these other things, you know, my, my brain first three or four songs, I always sing that I don't have to think about because my brain is on how rubbish they think I am.
And then by the end of the night, you know, everyone's loving it. It's fantastic. But yeah. You then turn into, right, well, I've got to pack my gear away, I've got to get in. You do, you go from, you go from performing on massive stages. I mean, I did, I did one in, say, in New Zealand, 50, 000 people at a, at a raceway.
I'd just done some modeling thing and then got up and sang, and it was, it's the stuff of dreams. But while I was up there, it's just a blur. You just, your brain switches off because it's that, it's the typical bloke thing of not feeling good enough. And. And I know full well, you know, I've got, I've got three albums that have raised loads of money, but actually I don't like to listen to them because I listen to them and go, Oh, that's that, you know, [00:37:00] I'm my own biggest critic.
But yeah, I, I totally that, that all those, all those artists, you look at, you look at Robin Williams, you know, how many people. How many millions of people across the world did he make laugh? Yet, he was miserable. You know, we, I, I, I joke with the volunteers in here sometimes. When, when it's all a bit flat and low, I feel like that stand up comedian.
You know, I've done my time on stage, encouraging people to get into it. And some, some days in here when it's low, I walk out absolutely exhausted.
Overtalk: Yeah. Because you're
Dominic Brister: playing the fool. You know, you're, you're, you're putting on a, the, the band I used to play with. It was called the Fab Three and we dressed in costumes.
You know, it's only in the last six months, and it sounds silly, but it's the only in the last six months I've started wearing my own clothes. to a gig. If it's somewhere I've never done before, I'll buy a new shirt, because then it's not me doing it, it's someone else.
Peter Ely: And that's, that's a really interesting thing, because I, I [00:38:00] performed stand up comedy and I did it as as a character as well, to kind of put that distance between me and the audience, as it were.
And I was talking to a teacher who said they did the same thing, you know, like when they're very first getting up on stage, they put the distance. So, Is that how, I mean, like you, you've talked about it comes a low and yet you're still doing it. So what's the thing that gets you to get back up on stage?
Dominic Brister: It depends. Sometimes it's Good money, which always helps. But it's, it is, it's knowing that actually, despite my worst fears, I've never had a gig where anyone's complained. I, I put out, I put out a caveat that if you don't enjoy it, you don't pay me. And I've always, I've always had that. And I did a, I did a really nice gig for the, the managing director of British Gas.
We're talking probably 10, 15 years ago. And I quoted him. [00:39:00] And he paid me four times what I quoted him, because he said, I'm sorry, you're not charging yourself out enough. Now, that doesn't happen all the time, but when someone values you, you take it. And yeah, it is a nice buzz when people start laughing and enjoying and singing along with you.
You know, you look at the number of choirs that are out there. I'd love to have time to do a choir, you know, I'd love it. I kind of turn my gigs into choirs. So it's, it's, if you can engage with them, it makes you feel better. You know, there's nothing, I don't like a big stage anymore. I'm not, I'm not jumping around.
If they give me a big stage for the festival, it's fine. I'm about engaging, you know, there's bands that play their music really well. And there's acts who engage with the crowd and almost bring those on stage metaphorically.
Gary Johannes: You're sure that's not just an age thing? That you can't move around the stage so much?
Dominic Brister: Yeah,
Overtalk: yeah.
Gary Johannes: It's interesting, because you said about the British Gas Man paying you so much more than your normal, what you quoted. [00:40:00] And that would have been a real boost to your self worth. Which was great, but if one person Didn't like it and left early and you just heard about that on the side of your head.
Dominic Brister: That's what I focus on.
Gary Johannes: Is that how much more? Four times more money than you quoted to somebody who might have just gone to the toilet but getting up out of their seat. How does that work for you?
Dominic Brister: I've, I've, I've learnt, I've learnt that ultimately you can't please everyone. You know, this, this place is That's what
Gary Johannes: you learnt, but how does it feel?
Dominic Brister: Oh, it feels like rubbish. Absolute garbage. You know, these, I could, I could have, I'm doing an event for Just Detect UK. It's a massive metal detecting rally with a couple of thousand people. Now, I, I always, I always try and get onto other people's social media. I jumped on and said, look, you know, has anyone got any song requests for Thursday night?
And loads of people, you know, obviously the Oasis thing that's happening at the moment. So [00:41:00] there's always a bit of a laugh about that. And then someone said, if you play in the Oasis, I'm leaving. And you kind of think, well, do you know what, even before I've got up there, I know that if I play an Oasis song, I don't even know who that person is, that they're going to leave.
And actually, do you know what right now? I don't care. You know, it's getting to the stage of, I know that what I do now, you know, and it's, it's taken, well, I think at my first gig, I was 21. So yeah, 24, 25 years. I know now that I will try, if I'm having a good night, I'll try songs that I've never tried before.
And if it goes wrong, it doesn't matter. And I put it on a caveat. Most, most artists do two 45 minute sets. I will start at seven and finish at midnight and I'll just go straight through. You know, it's basically, it's sold as the human jukebox. So if it's a song that someone requests and I know the words and I'll give it a go, but I've never tried it.
Then I'll just say quite simply, I'm taking a break. If you don't like it, it's not [00:42:00] my fault. You know,
Gary Johannes: and
Dominic Brister: you,
Gary Johannes: Ben, how does this connect with being a police officer? Cause Peter used to talk about doing stand up and being a character too. And I was watching some of the news that I were somebody from the only way of Essex has written a book and it says it's the truth because people thought they knew me.
But I was never made in the shows was how's that character to character to a thing work for you? But
Benn Baker Pollard: it works in the sense that you go to work and you put your uniform on, don't you? So, you know, when you put your uniform on, you become the policeman of the world. And you develop a barrier, your protection, whatever it's going to be, however you look at it, that allows you to go and do.
The bad stuff that you deal with allows you to stand in front of someone who's threatening to kill you or smash your face in and not be in a situation where you feel overly panicked or paralysed by [00:43:00] that.
Gary Johannes: Does it depersonalise it a little bit? You know, so you can, you're almost behind it. Because that's what I'm hearing from the people
Benn Baker Pollard: But I think there's always going to be that element, no matter how much you have a barrier, there'll be certain things that people say or do when they want to be nasty or vindictive towards you that are going to hit home, regardless of what outfit you've got on.
Can I, can I It doesn't really make a difference.
Dominic Brister: Can I jump in on that question, Ben, and say, if you're, let's say now you, you're not policing if you were in a situation where you were faced with that kind of threat, you've still had exactly the same training, you've still had, you know, exactly the same background and the stuff in the past.
Whereas if you were in uniform, you'd act one way. Yes, you haven't got the, the letter of the law behind you, but would that affect the way you deal with the situation?
Benn Baker Pollard: Yeah, absolutely, because you've got to remember that the uniform does the job for you. You've, [00:44:00] you know, the mere presence of that, alone puts people on the back foot.
So if I, you know, and it's one thing you have to tell new people a lot is when they get all excited about, I want to go out playing clothes. I want to be undercover and playing clothes and go around the street. And you can go, yeah, you have to understand the dynamic shifts instantly.
Dominic Brister: But does it also shift the other way in the fact that if you're in plain clothes, it might not instigate negativity
Overtalk: in certain situations?
So yeah. It's more approachable, I suppose, for certain people in different situations, yes. They've already got a background of hatred for the uniform.
Benn Baker Pollard: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, so, you know, and it provides an opportunity to build the rapport easier if you're having a conversation trying to understand something, you know, perhaps before it becomes where you have to intervene and use the law or, or carry out a sanction.
Yeah. But it also, [00:45:00] it makes you vulnerable. It makes you a lot more vulnerable or likely to be subjected to pushback and violence because I'm
Dominic Brister: guessing in terms of people who've had And this is, I'm guessing this is all uniforms. Someone who's had a negative response from someone in that uniform, no matter what uniform you wear, that, the person you're talking to, is already going to be on the back foot or front foot, as it were, because they dealt with someone years ago who's like that.
So it might be nothing to do with you personally, but because you're a brand Yeah.
Benn Baker Pollard: But the same thing could happen It's like your brand for the charity. If, if someone has a really bad experience and, and, and puts out that feedback Don't go near them because they're, they're all bad.
Dominic Brister: That, yeah, that's exactly what I was getting at.
That's where anyone that wears this logo on site, we are saying upholds our values. Now, it might be that we've made that, we've made a bad decision and someone's [00:46:00] wearing it and actually there could be an issue.
Benn Baker Pollard: Yeah.
Dominic Brister: You've just got to be really careful, haven't you?
Benn Baker Pollard: Yeah, you know, we look at GPs and everything.
It works for
Gary Johannes: all of us. White Coat Syndrome.
Benn Baker Pollard: You know, you look at, all GPs are useless. Yes. No one cares anymore. And we, we forget all the other factors that are in that dynamic, which, you know, and particularly, I suppose that's a good lead into your, your, some of the points you raised, to be honest, Dom, is that you said you had so severe pressures that even the GPs didn't know how to help.
How did that make you feel? What was that about? What was the pressures that you were facing? And where did it leave you? Did you know?
Dominic Brister: I've got to be, I've got to be careful because there are a couple of ongoing issues. That I've got to be very wary of talking about, which, you know, we're looking at sort of things like industrial tribunals and things, so I've got to be, I've got to be very non disclosure agreement aware, if that makes sense.
Absolutely. But yeah, ultimately when, when, you know, accusations are [00:47:00] made and, and highly false allegations are made with no evidence, when it's really hard, and again, looking at the police, it's really hard to, you know, defend a false allegation because there's zero evidence, you know, either way on, on, on whether someone who's making an allegation, there's no evidence, but actually if someone says something, you know, that's been said for a reason, according to everyone else.
When actually you must, you must have seen it if you're interviewing people and thinking there's nothing here, but there's nothing you can do about it. So it's really hard to fight a fight when you don't know the rules. So when things weren't going great for me, And I, I, I spoke and, and, and ultimately the, the GPs are kind of, well, there's nothing we can do, you know, ultimately, you know, you, you can't do anything, you, you're fighting, you know, you, things then sit with a legal team that you, that you don't know the rules of their game and you are, it's the, [00:48:00] it's the lack of control,
Overtalk: you
Dominic Brister: know, when you get to the point that you don't even know who can, who can support with any control, that's when it gets really difficult.
So when you then try and talk to people, you've then, you're then in a situation that legally you're not allowed to talk to people and you suddenly feel isolated, you know, as a, as a teacher, if, if something, if something gets said, you get, you get put on, put on gardening leave and suspended and told, right, you can't talk to anyone.
Actually your whole support network with the guys that you were talking to now. I'm not going to get anyone into any trouble because lots of people did speak, but you're not allowed to, you're not allowed to talk to people and, and that, that episode in my life has been really powerful because in the last four years, I've suddenly found so many people who are going through it and actually to be able to come in to us and talk, knowing that [00:49:00] Actually, I don't know your details, but just to be able to talk, you know, the, again, I'm not going to mention any names, but the whole cricket issue, you know, the, the problems in cricket that have been massive we had a guy come in and talk to us.
He didn't tell me who he was or what he was, but he was fully embroiled in this whole saga.
What, what's come out of that is a fantastic working relationship with him and his company. You know, we get to send guys down to Lords. We do. We make trophies for Lords now as a result of it. But he was going through something that he couldn't talk about, you know, and, and it's that sometimes people are shut down by, you know, the, the, the, the corporate box basically to protect the corporate box.
Benn Baker Pollard: And if you think it's society though as well, do you think it's more this cancel culture now? Yeah. Hugely Instagram rewarded by social media. We expect answers there and then, and, and now it's, well, someone's said it, you're done.
Dominic Brister: Yeah. If I've, [00:50:00] if I've not heard from you and, and someone, someone's mentioned it, that's it.
It must be game over.
Benn Baker Pollard: And it's,
Dominic Brister: you know, again, lots of people who suddenly, you know, Ben Fogel, who's monitoring and, and cutting his social media, he is at a bad time. Mm. But actually, you know, he, he's doing really well. Ed Stafford, bless him. You know, I've met him quite a few times. He's he's holed up in Costa Rica at the moment.
He's, he's actually living life with his family. He's he's getting off the social media bandwagon and that wasn't anything major. It was just a few, a few comments that went the wrong way. And it's, you know, it's really, it's really hard, but it's, but it's always happened. So it's not just social media.
When I was in, I was literally talking this morning when I was in New Zealand, I was doing a show and suddenly Michael Barrymore popped up in 2000, 2001, and he suddenly got up and sang a song with us. You know, he'd, he'd gone to the far side of the world because of everything that was happening here. And it is, it's, if, if, if something makes, no matter what you say to people, [00:51:00] you know, people said to me, Oh, it's, you know, it's, it's tomorrow's chip paper.
And yes, it is, but for the person that's in that chip paper, it's the whole world. You know what, I
Gary Johannes: think that's a really good point, because I use that phrase quite a lot. It's tomorrow's fish and chip paper. However, because of the council culture, the social media stuff, actually tomorrow is months down the line now.
Oh, yeah. You know, and I think that's the biggest difference, because you can say something today, and someone will
Dominic Brister: And ultimately, it sounds really silly, but suddenly someone can use that chip paper again, Four years down the line, just when you think it's gone in the bin, someone's pulled it out the recycling bin and suddenly it's flared up again.
And there's nothing you can do about it.
Gary Johannes: So, to wind up, because we've been going quite a long time now, so Yeah, my
Dominic Brister: battery's on 10%. I was just looking at that. Right.
Gary Johannes: So, to wind up I'd like to know, and everybody would like to know, what gets you out of bed in the morning? Because it [00:52:00] sounds like there's been pressures for You've had some amazing times, but you've had lots of pressures.
We also know that you've lost siblings and things and, you know, lots of different reasons not to do this. Right. Oh, there's loads of reasons just like lots of other people going through all sorts of pickles. What gets you up in the morning?
Dominic Brister: I, I, I genuinely count myself really lucky. Yeah, I've had meningitis.
I've had six cancer operations. I broke my neck playing rugby. I broke my back the number of injuries I lost, dropped a knife and lost the, lost a toe tendon, you know, everything. When my brother went to sleep in July 2018, so yeah, six years now, 35 years old, went to sleep. I got a phone call the next day.
So my dad had just done a hundred mile ride in, in London, but the post London hundred miler. Fantastic. Fantastic. He was heading home. I got a phone call the next [00:53:00] day, the Sunday, and I thought mum was in tears. I thought dad, something had gone wrong with dad, and it turned out that my brother had gone to sleep and didn't wake up, you know, no, basically a my a myocardial break.
Something just didn't work with his heart. And I look at dad and I look at mom and think, you know, how the hell did they get up every morning? If they can do it, I can do it. And it's, you know, there's, there's a guy who leaves the shed and says, I'll see, he comes in every Friday. He's got massive breathing issues.
He says, I'll see you Friday if we're spared. You know, it's for some of the, for some of the positivity in these guys. There's one guy who comes in, he's got a glass eye in his right eye. He's got 5 percent sight in his left eye and he's really happy because they're going to operate on the cancer in his good eye.
And he's positive and it really is a kind of, you know what, if I don't get down here and open up, these guys haven't got anywhere to go and ultimately what would I be doing? I'd be sitting at home, you know, there's certain songs I won't sing because they remind me of my younger brother, [00:54:00]
Overtalk: but
Dominic Brister: even this morning I found a really nice backing and version of one of the songs that is his song and I thought, you know what, I think I'm ready to do it.
And occasionally I'll blast out the odd song, if it's been a really good gig. And everyone's buzzing. It's like, do you know what, would you mind, and I'll finish the night, and then always do it after I've officially finished. You know, if you want to leave, fine, bugger off, but actually I'm going to do this one.
So yeah, what, what gets me up is, is that, you know, my son is incredible. My two stepdaughters are absolutely amazing. They're, they're 21 and 24. One's off to Sri Lanka to go and work in a dog sanctuary, or, or set up a home video screen, or just loves it. The older ones getting into teaching, which, you know, as much as I test it for her, but she's off, she's off to Australia.
She's going to go and she's just got her TEFL. So she's teaching English as a foreign language. She's off to Australia for another two years with her boyfriend, Luke, who's going to go and play rugby. He plays rugby for [00:55:00] rugby league for Scotland seniors. He's got his first senior match. You know, it's, you look at those and think, do you know what?
You know, my wife is, I don't know how she does it. I go over to the office. And yeah, if you're up, if you're up in Bourne, come and visit it. There's 220 counselling sessions a week get organised from what is the equivalent of a shoebox. It's smaller than a 6x4 shed. I don't know how she does it. And everything that they do, it's kind of, well, that's why I'm General Dogsbody.
I've learnt all these skills. And I love it. I love, I love that. I don't know what's happening every day, and that's it. I think
Gary Johannes: so to finish off if you was to give one tip for anyone in any of the pickles you've been in because you've been in a lot of different pickles and you've come through them all.
Dominic Brister: I'm a full chutney right now.
Gary Johannes: Yeah, definitely. Maybe a bit of onion in there. Peter's going to steal that one. Look
Dominic Brister: at it.
Gary Johannes: So, so, so what? What advice would you give? One tip?
Dominic Brister: Find your safe [00:56:00] space to talk. Fantastic. And, and by and, and safe space isn't, isn't a space. It might, it might be, it might be by listening to a podcast.
It might be by listening to music, whatever is your safe space. And if it's not with someone yet, it doesn't matter if as long as, as long as when you've had your moment in your safe space, you feel better.
Gary Johannes: Well, listen, for me, massive thank you, and a thank you to Nicole Woodcock for recommending you to come on as well.
I know she walked up Sloden with you, so Yeah,
Benn Baker Pollard: she did,
Gary Johannes: yeah. Fantastic. Guys?
Benn Baker Pollard: Before I say thanks, Dom, I just want to ask you one question, because what you're doing really resonates with me. A family friend of mine is struggling with their child. You do anything you can to help those kids when, when it's your own or whatever and you want to make them better.
Do you have any limits on the area that you serve? Or couldn't people come and see you from anywhere in the country?
I'd be froze.
Dominic Brister: Oh, I'm back. Sorry. [00:57:00] You said you do anything you can.
Benn Baker Pollard: Alaska again. So, obviously if you've got any, you know, anyone who's close or personal to you, you want to do, particularly your children, you want to do the most you can to help that kid, and the battle is there, the struggle's there, to get access to those services.
Particularly when they're 17, going into the 18 bracket. Is there any limits or any exclusions you apply to helping people? So is it within a specific area or is it anybody in the country? If someone traveled down they could come and see you?
Dominic Brister: Not at all. We've got, we've got one guy who travels About an hour every week to come over just to the shed.
In terms of counseling, we do remote counseling, so there's guys who are being counseled from all over the uk. In fact, one of our counselors was gonna move up to Cumbia and still be a remote counselor for us. So no, there's not, the one thing I would say from a parent, what I try and say to parents is be willing to let go for a minute and know that obviously there's confidentiality issues and trust in the process.
You know, as a parent, you [00:58:00] want to know exactly what's going on because you want to be the, the carer, the caregiver, but actually, you know, I took a young lad. His mum was a therapeutic, she ran therapeutic masterclasses. She's a phenomenal child psychologist, but she couldn't get through to a child. And she said, look, you know, I did, I did 48 hours.
I took it, basically took him for a long walk. We went up and round Malham and I took him for an adventure for 48 hours and he came back and gave his mum a hug. Yeah. And it was, it's, it's, it's being able to step back and go, do you know what? Yeah, these guys know what they're doing. And they'll feed back if and when they can.
Benn Baker Pollard: Brilliant, brilliant. Thank you very much for coming on today. I really love what you're doing.
Dominic Brister: Yeah,
Peter Ely: Dom, thank you for sharing your story. It's, it's always amazing to hear wonderful people doing wonderful things. So thank you. And I'm glad you're back.
Dominic Brister: See you later, mate. He's, he's, he's highly autistic and won't leave without saying goodbye.
Sorry, Peter, I missed that. No
Peter Ely: problem, that's fine. No, I just wanted to say thank you very much for sharing your story with us. I'm glad that your phone [00:59:00] battery lasted and it's been really fascinating to, to listen to your story. So thank
Dominic Brister: you. Thank you for, thank you for including me guys.
Gary Johannes: So to finish off.
One thing, I've learned a massive thing today. I didn't know there was such a thing as underwater headphones. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And if you knew what stick I get about my headphones, that's why I've not got them on. That's amazing. Tom, just tell us how anyone listening or watching can actually contact anything you do at Don't Lose Hope.
Dominic Brister: The easiest thing to do, go to Google, type in Don't Lose Hope, and I think we're the first four pages now. So there's Don't Lose Hope in Bourne there's Don't Lose Hope Community Garden, there's Don't Lose Hope Cafe, there's Don't Lose Hope Gift Shop, we've even got a night cafe for guys that struggle at home in the evenings yeah, ultimately you, any, any of the social medias, you type in Don't Lose Hope and you'll find something, and then on the website, as you guys have found, we've, we've upgraded the website so it's a bit more [01:00:00] user friendly.
Gary Johannes: Yeah, fantastic. Thank you so much. It will be a pleasure to meet you because I'm only in Peterborough and I'm in Bourne Ofton. So thank you very much.
Dominic Brister: Fantastic. Thanks a lot.
Gary Johannes: Cheers, guys. Bye bye.
Yeah. Thanks for joining us, we'll be getting started in about a minute. [01:01:00]